Wednesday, November 22, 2006

<...>

As I push the door, it opens with a creek, almost poetically. As I enter, I can distinctly smell the smoke of a freshly stubbed out cigarette. Strange, because it has been quite some time since anyone has been here. The tinge frolicks around with my nostrils for a few moments before they get used to it. Is it really the smell, I ponder, or my mind playing around with the memories I have of this room, his room.

The room is dark and gloomy, still I can make out the faint outlines of the furniture inside. There isn't much of what can be accommodated in a hostel room, but still, his room has quite a lot of stuff, all randomly placed inside. Because of the darkness, I cannot see it, but it is there, I can feel the obstacles. Almost like they have an aura around them, his aura.

As I flick up the button of the bulb, the room is immediately filled up with soft gloomy yellowness, pushing the darkness to the corners, making it hide in the shadows. There is a chair immediately in front of me, a cluttered workdesk to my right, a pile of unlaundered clothes on the bed, a couple of suitcases unwelcoming me into their owner's domain, a wheezy typewriter stashed away in a corner, tons and tons of paper everywhere: class notes, correspondence, his "idea" pages, the "festival material"; all strewn about. Everything looking back at me just like I am looking at them. Without passion or emotion, devoid of energy, just us gazing at each other. A feeling of statis grips me. It seems nothing has been touched since then.

A crunch beneath my feet. A used up matchstick. A box of matches on the desk. Depressing amounts of cigarette stubs in the waste bin. Stubbing-out marks on the desk drawer. An empty box of cigarettes.

Then I see it.

On a small bedside table I see a stubbed out cigarette. Perfectly left untouched. The ashes are there, the insignia of the brand intact, as he used to keep it. The filter a bit crooked with the pressure applied on the top and still standing in the little pile of ash. Beside it is a letter pad, with the impressions still there of the note written on the page that must have been above it, the page that must have been hastily torn apart by him. A page that he was carrying with him when he was found.

A suicide note. In my dead friend's pocket.

I can feel my eyes getting moist. I must go away now. I give one parting look at my friend's last smoke, and close the door behind me.

-Pratyush


Psst ... Pratyush doesn't know I wrote this story in his name. :)

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Nobody.

I am nobody.
I live in all of us.
Come to think of it, almost everybody is a nobody at some point of their life, and I am one right now.
Why? I don’t know, but I have this feeling that I am slowly pushing myself back into the darkness. While the world around me is bubbling and thriving, I am getting more and more secluded, an outsider, a lonely onlooker to the party.
This too, shall pass.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Clock Turns Back...

It may not make much of a read. (Reading the footnote would hopefully help.)
An hour is what the papers say
The clock turns the backward way
Oh I wish time did so too
It should turn back, for me, for you.

Let's go back to the same ol' days
And write down everything anew
Let's sit down and set it straight
A different script, for me, for you.

On although a second thought,
Maybe, just maybe we should not.
This is more real, this is more true
Having just enough of magic, for me, for you.

The clock, however does turn back
One more degree of separation
Let's see if the magic still works
For this man, is it hope, or jubilation?
This poem comes after a completion of a marathon run of "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset" at my very local theatre that I fondly refer to as Klysh. (It means that I watched these wonderful movies on my comp :p)
Now, "Before Sunrise" was a stunning story, a fairy tale as well as an almost real time movie. The actors were impeccably true to their characters, which in turn were breathtakingly so lovable (for the lack of a better word) It is a fairytale happening to two people in real life. Sends you in a trance. "Before Sunset", the sequel, couldn't have been more apt. It is, in every sense of the word, a breathtaking production. I did not even realise that the movie was through till I saw the credits rolling in. It was so encompassing. And then, this poem. Don't get waylaid by the one hour thing, it IS important but let's just say it's a thing that started it all, and hence I chose to keep it in the composition. Whatever, not getting into THAT. Just watch the movies and maybe then the poem might make some sense.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Strange Case of the Birthday Card...

Well, just read this.
(Information : Certain parts of this presentation are inspired from real life.)

Once I sent a birthday card
for a lady extraordinaire
’twas a plain and simple electronic card
"To show that you love and care"TM

After googling for a hour or so
Oh! Finalising it was so hard
For a special lady on a special day
A cute-ish birthday card

The forgetful that I am, I knew
It might happen, with fate,
That I forget to send the card to her
On the correct d-date!

So I thought up a little plan
And set up the card thus
To be delivered to her on the right date
No worries and no fuss!

There was an option on the card
to tick on the place that said,
Tell me when this card is sent,
And also when it’s read

So I put a tick mark each
And press the button to send
The card that wished a happy day
From a very happy friend

I should’ve avoided the ticks, I feel
should've sent an unmarked card instead
'coz I got a message saying the card was sent
But never got one saying that it was read

So boys and men, and all such fellas
Keep this in mind I hark
Either do not send a greeting card
Or send one without a mark.

These days, my literary standards have taken a plummet from their erstwhile summits. (Mt. Everest? No, more like the top of Faculty Building, heh heh!) Anyways, I am trying out a new way of writing that is impromptu, thoroughly unrevised, one go, straight-from-the-gut-through-my-fingers-and-on-the-screen kind of writing. I'll stick to this for the time being till the "literary standards" hit a Mariana Trench. Then maybe I'll contemplate on a new way to tease the world.

Till then. Smiles.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Suicide Note : It starts all over again...

Life, they say comes a-round-a-full circle.

This semester is no better than the previous. Same story, pre registration time, full of enthusiasm in choosing courses, courses that seem interesting (in the long run, they DO turn out to be!), courses with the best facutly teaching them, courses that would require me to think and learn. But these are courses which would also need me to attend classes.

Why I do not attend a lot of classes, I cannot figure out. Maybe I have lost that trait somewhere. I don't attend classes, lose out on the course, finally end up either passing with a poor grade or flunking (Yes have done it a couple of times yeah!) Is this life? Is this the way things should be? Is this what I wanted to be?

No.

The worse part is ... I scripted it myself. I am becoming exactly the same kind of person I loathed when I entered the institute gates for the first time. You know the one, Mr. Seem-to-know-it-all, Mr. Blabber-mouth, Mr. I'm-an-IITian-so-I-must-be-bright, those types. What it actually means, is that I haven't learnt ANYTHING after my JEE preparations got over. The trouble is, I haven't tried to, as well.

I was never a fighter. When it becomes too much, I just lie back and leave it. unfortunately that is not what works. I postpone/procastinate/or just ignore everything till it becomes too much to handle, at which point I just shirk it off. But but but, I am in a system that doesn't appreciate it, and it shouldn't either. I end up being more miserable.

I am thinking right now, that I would start studying this particular course (the mid-sem preparation for which triggered this post) after my midsems get over. But i have too much on my hands to make this commitment. As such I am going to have a hell lot of work in the next two weeks, there is also the CAT exam on 19th november after which we have, lo! the End sems. When does Saumya study? Saumya doesn't, gets an F, grinds his teeth harder, becomes a bigger sore loser, starts complaining around and then again goes into depression, something only a very few close friends can prevent as well as cure me out of.

Had it not been for them, I'd have been a major wreck already, not that I aint, but a bigger mess would have existed in the space currently allotted to Saumya Jain on this planet. If you know you are one of them, I should also let you know that I value your presence in my life and would always remember you people as my saviours.

...to be continued, hopefully.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

She...

P(re) S(cript) : Written under the effect of a night spent peering at a blank computer screen and reflecting on why I do what I do, maybe some gentleman by the name of Freud deserves some credit as well.

[Warning] Gossip mongers and nosy pokers take note please, there's nothing in here you might be interested in...so if THAT is why you're reading this, kindly make a hasty exit. Else, if you do have a little taste in life, read on...

She maybe a girl far away, or someone living just round the corner. She may be a person living, or lived, or yet to be born. She may not even exist at all, or maybe existing for eternity for me. She may not be a person I know, not a person I have met yet, she might just be a concept. She maybe a sister, a mother, a friend or no one at all, her existence maybe just a mere figment of my silly imagination.

But she lives through me...she lives in me.

She inspires, she creates, she loves, she nourishes, she brings out the best in me. She whispers love in my ears as I fall asleep, she dives into my dreams, and wakes me up gently from the sweet slumber each morning. I live with her aura all around me, protecting, caring and nurturing as ever. I work for her, write for her, create for her, think for her, live for her.

Maybe you do, too.

I love her. Absolutely. Madly.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Umm...Did I fool so many of 'em?

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
These were the words of the great Abe Lincoln. What do I say to it?

Had I been asked this, let's say an year ago, my views would have been "oh yeah!" "absolutely!" "way to go, abe!" or something very much along those lines. However, since then, life has been a roller coaster.

The current post has been seeded by a small revelation. I got up yesterday morning to see my Orkut fan list gone up to complete a century!!! Now that's 100 people who really think that Saumya Jain is fannable material. Oh! And Abby Baby said I can't fool so many people!

Wonder what they find so "fan"ciful in me? In any case, the feeling is just "fan"tastic.

:D

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Rant!

[Rant Advisory : Today I am in a real rant mood.]

Why is it like this?
Why can I not sit down to study?
Why do people not do what they oughta do?
Why can't they look at the bigger picture?
Why can they not give up a little bit of selfishness to see a smile on another face?
Why do I end up doing things I didn't even think of? And not-doing the ones I dreamt of?
Why does my work keep piling up and me still keep accepting more?
Why are there so many whys in my mind right now?
Why can I not find any answers to these whys?
Why do I always end up with a feeling of something left to be improved?
Why do I not see the other half of the moon?
Why do I want to see the other half?
Why can I not think of anyhting else to type now?
Ok.

There, feeling much much better now!

Hope?...

Hope.

Just say yes, and I shall wait.
Just say yes, write my fate.
Just say yes, I want you to.
Just say yes, and say it true.

I shall wait, and wait for you.
I shall wait, till you're through.
I shall wait, from now to ever.
I shall wait, and hope forever.


Completed Saturday, July 08 2006, 05:27 A.M.

Write my fate...Just say yes.

Me in suuuuuper romantic mode these days. This poem was an old one but incomplete. Today I got down to complete it and published it here just to add to the whole romance.

Did something happen? I dunno.
Did someone say something? I dunno.
Did I think that someone said something? I dunno.

Man, romance kills reason! But whaddaheck, its soooo goooooood!!!

No Comments. :)

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Street-side revelation...

Scene : IITK Main Road, 5:00 in the evening

Players : A sick, nauseatic Rakshit Kachhal and a sicker Saumya Jain moving towards IITK Gate to buy some medicines for the ever-so-puke-happy Kachhal.

~~~
Saumya : Yaar aaj tune kuchh ajeeb notice kiya? [Did thee notice something astrange today, my friend?]
Rakshit : Nahin toh, kya? Koi baat hai? Bol? [I am afraid not. Pray tell me what it is.]
Saumya : Yaar yeh aaj saari chhoriyaan laal kapde kyun pehne hain? [Cannot continue translating this text in chaste english, it will lose its fun. Get in touch with a Hindi speaking Indian to know what's going on here. End of translation]
Rakshit : Hain?
Saumya : Arre main keh raha hoon aaj jitni bhi ladkiyaan dikh rahi hain, mostly sabhi ne laal kapde pehne hue hain. Yeh achhee baat nahi hai. Inko pata hona chahiye ki laal kapdon se chhoron ko kuchh kuchh hota hai.
Rakshit : Hota hai kya?
Saumya : Aur kya, nahin hota?
Rakshit : Haan yaar, hota to hai.
Saumya : Hain na? Waise main soch raha tha, laal hi kyun?
Rakshit : ...
Saumya : ...
...
...
Rakshit : Abey woh issliye kyunki apun jaise saand type ladkon par laal rang ka hi asar hota hai!
Saumya : mmmmppphhhh!!!
Rakshit : muahahahahaa!!!
~~~

:)