Sunday, April 30, 2006

How Nerdy/Geeky/Dorky Am I?

Now normally I don't take these kinds of tests, but then I did use the word "normally" back there.

Pure Nerd
69 % Nerd, 47% Geek, 13% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork."


Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.



So there, am an official NERD now.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Most Hilarious Ice Breaker...

(courtesy Ballia)

Ballia to XYZ female on her Orkut Scrapbook : Hi! Pehchaana?
XYZ female to Ballia on his Orkut Scrapbook : Nahin :(
Ballia to XYZ female on her Orkut Scrapbook : Pehchaanogi bhi kaise? Abhi aaj hi toh pehli baar mile hain!!!

When Ballia told me this incident, I was laughing for at least 5 minutes. Not only the situation and the dialogue, but also the way he speaks and recalls it...absolutely wonderful!

Coming Soon...Who IS Ballia?

An Ode To Myself...

I found this poem on the net. It is by a gentleman who goes (actually "went" would be more apt here) by the name of Isaac Watts (1674-1748) . I found it almost like an ode written for me. Hence I reproduce it as it was found.

The Sluggard

'Tis the voice of the sluggard; I heard him complain,
'You have wak'd me too soon, I must slumber again.'
As the door on its hinges, so he on his bed,
Turns his sides and his shoulders and his heavy head.

'A little more sleep, and a little more slumber;'
Thus he wastes half his days, and his hours without number,
And when he gets up, he sits folding his hands,
Or walks about sauntering, or trifling he stands.

I pass'd by his garden, and saw the wild brier,
The thorn and the thistle grow broader and higher;
The clothes that hang on him are turning to rags;
And his money still wastes thill he starves or he begs.

I made him a visit, still hoping to find
That he took better care for improving his mind;
He told me his dreams, talked of eating and drinking;
But he scarce reads his Bible and never loves thinking.

Said I then to my heart, 'Here's a lesson for me,
This man's but a picture of what I might be;
But thanks to my friends for their care in my breeding,
Who taught me betimes to love working and reading.'

...and yes, for regular readers of this blog, you would be glad to know that Vinod Khare turned 21 today, which he claims is going to remain his static age for the rest of his life. He is of the opinion that one stops growing beyond 21. Well, I differ. We don't stop growing, but we certainly have cemented our personalities by this age. We can say we cease to be that impressionable kid we used to be, and face the world with our own set of opinions and ideas ("idiosyncrasies", for the lack of a better word!)

So anyways, here's wishing Vinod a very happy birthday, and congratulations to him on adding to the list of Eligible Bachelors (he turned 21!) of this institute. [smiles]

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

An Ironic IM Conversation...

[He] : Hi!
[She]: Hello.
[He] : Fine?
[She]: Fine.
[He] : Fine!
[She]: O.K.
[He] : Bye?
[She]: Yes.
[He] : Yes?
[She]: Yes.
[He] : Fine.
[She]: Yes.
[He] : Fine?
[She]: Yes, bye.
[He] : Awww shucks, bye.
[She]: What happened?
[He] : Nothing...
[She]: Why the "Awww shucks"?
[He] : Nothing.
[She]: Tell me, tellme tellme tellme.
[He] : Its nothing...
[She]: No, there definitely is something, you are hiding something from me.
[He] : No, my dear, I am not.
[She]: No I get it, you don't want to talk. Look you don't even respond properly to my messages!
[He] : Is it so?
[She]: Now don't play funny, you are definitely avoiding me (sniff,sob!)
[He] : :|

At this point "He" disconnects and gets back to watching cricket on Television, while "She" rushes to a friend seeking advice on how to tackle a difficult boyfriend.

Ladies are a strange lot.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

The Do-Nothingers!

(inspired by a heavy discussion and an internet chat session that followed it)

The Do-Nothingers (I invented this name) is a group of 6 very very vehla (unbusy) IITians forced by a cruel turn of fate to end up enrolling at IIT Kanpur for getting their Bachelor's Degree. Here's one way to market this concept...

They are not people whom you would generally see around in a place like this. They are the real McCoys. They are real people. They are amidst you. They've got great camouflage skills, they can merge into a group as if they are an integral part of the regular heave and grind of this institute.


When these six people, again by a twist of fate, happen to come together in a hostel room, they become the most volatile entity that mankind has ever known. An event happened in the early hours of April 23, starting from the previous midnight itself, and went on till 3:00 in the morning, but within those three hours, the destiny of the world was changed forever.

Heh heh heh heh, do you believe all this? Let me try again

The Do-Nothingers are actually 6 people who are extremely gifted by nature with a strange power that drives them to a bulla (incessant chit chat) session, no matter what the time and whatever the occassion (it being an end semester examination the next day, in the present case). As the name suggests, we actually DO nothing (with a special emphasis on DO). We just go on bullshitting and whiling away our time. It's an assortment across various engineering departments, and across various hobbies. However, all the Do-Nothingers are great intellectuals in their own right. They meet and discuss very very pertinent and important issues related to the future of society. AND they have the wisdom to realise that these issues are much much MUCH more important than the small petty things like classes, quizzes, exams, grades etc. As I said, REAL INTELLECTUALS.

Before we proceed further, I think we should get acquainted with them (in alphabetical order)

  • Akshay Mathur (Materials and Metallurgical Engineering) : A MAJOR geek, living off Linux Flavours and Star Trek. Was the Computer Room Secretary of our Hall of Residence, wherein he realised the true noble pleasure of helping others out despite your own problems, complicated his life and simplified his grades since then. These days is still found loitering around blabbering about PHP Scripting, Web Designing, Programming and the latest Star Trek Season. It would be inappropriate to mention here that he has to be pushed by his wingmates to take a bath every fortnight. (But lo, I did mention it!) Fresh out of the bathroom, he is cute and huggable.

  • Ankit Rohatgi (Chemical Engineering) : The real inventive engineer. The most versatile guy I have ever known. The God of Small Important Stuff. I mean, who thinks up of a mobile lighting unit for an amateur movie using UPSs? Or Microphone booms for the same movie using bamboos? Or cutting your toothpaste box into half and using it as a pen stand? Or experimenting with life, universe and everything? That is Ankit. We call him Huggy. Statutory warning : Interaction time for normal human beings limited to before midnight. After midnight, you talk to Huggy at your own risk. This guy is most productive at that time of the day, as well as most ruthless! And yes, he too drinks Linux for breakfast. Before you make up your mind about this guy, I should tell you, as a Chemical Engineer, he is always on the lookout for blowing a plant, spreading a vicious chemical onto a sleepy town or something like that. (I borrowed my first copy of the "Anarchist's Cookbook" from him!)

  • Atul Jain (Civil Engineering) : The quintessential journalist. He could convince you of anything that he says, and I for once had even gotten into believing his advertised philosophy of "sirf hungaama khada karna mera maksad nahin, main chaahta hoon ki yeh tasveer badlalni chahiye" [Only raising an uproar is not what I seek, I want that the situation should change] Inspiring words na? Yes, that is the beauty of it all. He inspired me. But then, once we became friends, through more deep conversations, I've realised that what he actually meant was "Tasveer ki aisi ki taisi, keval hungaama khada karna hi mera maksad hai" [To hell with the situation, I revel in chaos and pandemonium!] There has not been a single major incident/uprising in which Atul Jain was not involved as an opinion. Be it the Hall 5 election issue, the Eve Teasing thread or the Aircraft Crash video in which even I was involved. It was a small RC airplane that had crashed during an airshow, and we covered it like a news team does, adding spice and masala, involving the Prime Minister as well as "the foreign hand". Basically, a determined person with an opinion on anything, and generally that opinion is against the general opinion, but man! he is so convincing.

  • Rakshit Kachhal (Mechanical Engineering) : Kachhal is the typical nice, hardworking boy next door. But he aint that average when it comes to his passion and dedication. An excellent PR expert, knows everybody around, can talk people into getting things done. He is a person of a kind I haven't met anywhere else, nor do I believe I will. He is not only unique in his own identity, but even in his whole "type". Iss type ke log nahin milte, hote hi nahin hain. [People of his type are not easy to find, coz they don't exist!] Loves music, all kinds, loves dancing, loves life. He lives a grand life. Enjoys each and every bit of it. At the long and short of it, he's a Do-Nothinger. He really has had his share of doing things. He has already done a major thing in life. He is the "Kholu" of Mechanical Department of our batch. (meaning, he's the best JEE ranker who opted for Mech at IITK) That speaks it all.

  • Vinod Khare (Civil Engineering) : He's the author. The shy, reclusive, pessimistic, sadistic, pervert who churns out excellent stuff (mostly Sci-Fi). He is an authority on Science Fiction. A very very deep thinker and philosopher. The shades of grey in his hair lend him the name Daddu. His department people call him an endsem specialist, coz he rocked a course in the 5th semester by scoring almost full marks in the end sem, when most of the class was lingering at 50%! A man without desires, or atleast an expression of desires. Content with whatever he has. And one more thing, really drools for eye candy on his desktop. The most weirdest of small widgets are available with him, as well the choiciest of wallpapers. Reads like a lawnmower, always found reading some crappy sci-fi story, if not writing one. You should look at him becoming pessimistic. Its almost infective. But its kindof cute.

  • Saumya Jain (Aerospace Engineering) : He is the sanest, coolest and THE most modest person of this group (broke the alphabetical order to put my name in the end!) Also, the most far removed from institutional things like exams and all. (I have an exam in less than 24 hours from now, and I started typing this post when I had 25, heh heh! A genuine Do-Nothinger) He is popular in the batch as the "Kholu" of Aerospace. Now unlike the kholu of Mechanical Engineering, who is reverred for his decision to take up Mechanical when he could have opted for Electrical, or even Computer Science (HOT streams, I dunno why), the kholu of Aerospace Engineering is branded as an unfortunate fool, driven by passion alone. The kholu of Aerospace forgoes a bright career in Mechanical Engineering and chooses Aerospace, ignited by watching flying Aircraft or Rockets taking off. People here tell him, yeh tumne kya kar diya dost, apne hi paer par kulhaadi maar li ? [What have you done friend, scripted your own doom?] I say BOO to them. They don't know what fun it is to handle only 4 courses in a sem when the poor "mechanical" people have to take 6! More so, these people don't realise that we need Aerospace Engineers more than Mechanical ones, what with the Indian Space Programme taking off by the end of this decade. Anyways, that was not the topic of discussion. So Saumya what do I say about myself? Just that my role in the Do-Nothinger meetings is that of a moderator. Am slightly political, so I can actually take the meeting on one direction in return of a favour. Everyone knows this, so they don't give me favours, and hence the meetings remain indecisive. I guess that is enough.

So these were the six people that make up the Do-Nothingers. About what we discuss, I'll cover that in the next post. I guess I really should set myself down to study some Gas Dynamics, before it is too late.

Inviting "her" to Orkut

Now this is a dilemma many of us would have faced.

Suppose then, that you have a close friend who, unfortunately for you, is a girl. Now, upon the issue that she wants to discover the "fundoo network of orkut", its left upto you to defend yourself, as to why you don't wanna invite her over to this "fundoo network".

My reasons...
  1. Orkut is not a social network. It is a highly unsocial (anti social, if you may) gang of equally highly unsocial (anti social, if you may again) people. It thus is a forum for those kind of people to join hands who either (a) have no work to do at all except "orkutting" or (b) are definitely involved in some seditious act of overthrowing their respective governments.

  2. Orkuteers, the one falling in the category described in 1(a) are essentially people who are on the internet almost whole of their awake part of the day. That counts in IITians, by far the most obnoxious female-hunters in the human species that I have come across. They would lap up, and add, and scrap, and view any profile that is even remotely "female". Even my profile gets hit now and then with people taking me to be a girl, by virtue of my name. Now would I want one of my friends to enter a community of SeFIs (Sexually frustrated IITians?) Hmm...maybe no.

  3. Also, for the non-SeFIs, it is quite a curious thing to land up on Saumyä Jain's profile, look at a particular girl in the friend's list and ask..."Oye Saumya, yeh kaun hai?" [Hey Saumya, who's her?] Now again, if I say, "She's a friend", then would these nosy pokers stop at that? ... maybe no. And till the time she is a friend, I wouldn't want any @$$40l3 nosy neighbourhood BBC (Bahut Bada Chaman) to invent stories about us and spread it around.

So I let it be at that. 3 reasons are good enough not to invite her to this absolutely wonderful way to meet new friends and find old ones, Orkut.

You don't get an invite from me, dear lady.