Early morning vibes...

The following transpired between me and Praty on our way to the morning chai at MT, worth a blog.

Scene : The half-asleep duo of Praty and Saumya trudging along the Hall of Residence Avenue, crossing the Hall 2 gate towards MT. As they see, a localite lady is boarding a Rickshaw. She'll be around 30, attired in Saree and with a voice as shrill and as loud that is associated with my perception of the Kanpur babe. The rickshaw puller and the lady soon start making small conversation, and both of them laugh.

Saumya (feeling sorry for the lady's hardworking, bread_winner_for_the_family, middle class husband) : Dekh yaar, aunty toh rickshaw waale se hi las rahi hain! [Behold thine eyes to this scene my friend, this fine young lady here is categorically "flirting" with this gentleman rickshaw puller here!]

Praty (...) : huh? [huh?]

Saumya (still inquizitive) : Yaar dekh na, aunty lase hi jaa rahi hain ... kyun? aakhir kyun ? aakhir kyun praty!!! [See, she is still flirting, why why why oh WHY!]

Praty (! - which means he is on the verge of getting to a big time earth shattering realisation) : Simple hai, aunty soch rahi hain, thoda lasne se agar 6 rupay ki jagah 5 rupay dene ki ho jaaye toh kya nuksaan? ['tis but simple, for she thinks what is the harm done if for a few moments of her sweet chitchat, this foolish rickshaw puller would charge her a rupee less for the ride?]

Saumya (still doubtful) : Lekin yeh baat toh rickshaw waala bhi jaanta hoga na? Wo kyun las rah hai? [Yes my friend, but would not the same realization dawned upon the rickshaw puller aswell? Why is he playing the game?]

Praty (!!! - which means that he got a time slice of clear vision and spoke the ultimate truth) : Dekh rickshaw waala soch raha hai, mere 6 rupay toh kahin jaane nahin doonga, woh toh wasool hi loonga, ab tab tak agar lasne ko hi mil raha hai toh main kyun mauka haath se jaane doon [He knows that he will anyhow take the exact fare from the woman, so why not enjoy the ride with a little spice?]

Well, that's the world for you, as we realised it one sleepy Spring morning on our way to the MT.

Random Thought no. 42 : what do we learn at IIT

Yep, this is a new thing on this blog, and I'll post 'em under the title "Random Thought"s. Each "random thought" will be assigned a not-so-random_ number ... wait, wait wait ... well that's debatable, at the end it IS a random pick from a finite list of numbers I have in mind :| ... anyhow, back to where we were ... so a not-so-random number shall be assigned to the incumbent thought while it is being posted on "the blog".

Each random thought, as it were, would have a short but precise idea thrown upon at the reader to (hopefully) stimulate his (or her, if you may so please) senses/ego/spirituality etc. and shall also carry some background about its origin. Well, if I am in a good mood, I'll also post the significance of the random number so assigned to the random thought.

So here's this time's dose. Ladies and Gentlemen, Random Thought number 42.

Scene : Vivek Madnani and Saumya Jain, sipping away Sprites at MT (that dingy, stinking place frequented by early risers, late sleepers, class bunkers, samosa seekers ... basically one and all from IIT). Kaboom! Madnani gets a flash of insight and thus he spake...

One thing that IIT teaches you is to accept defeat.

We come in here as heroes, each in his/her own right, struggling through school, all lamps burning, all engines fired, all horses on ... oh well yes, in short, we come in after a good fight, as champs.

Then, the dream-run ends.

Everyone starts expecting/assuming/presuming that yeah this guy is a slog-horse. Let's just get him. Everyone. Friends, society, teachers, professors. Everyone! "Oh yes you are an IITian, blah blah blah ... should know ... blah blah blah ... should handle ... blah blah blah ... should slog away like everyone else ... blah blah blah ... should do this ... blah blah blah. What they forget, the IITian included, is that this is at the end of the day, an "educational insititution". It is expected to provide education, not distribute it away and expect people to lap it up! We slog horses, slog as expected, slog slog slog slog and slog.

And then, we lose. We lose to ourselves.

We just lose. BIG TIME. And what do we feel about it? Nothing. That's what we are taught here. Lose and stay down. Don't fight. It's not gonna change anything. As long as you get your degree in time, its all fine. Stay hungry, stay foolish, stay selfish. Be a jerk all your life!

Enough random rant. Don't you think so?

---
and 42 ... next time folks, my head's starting to hurt a bit.

Tagged! - Spilling the guts.

So now that everyone knows what being tagged means, I can spill the guts.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Saumya Jain out and about for the whole world for one time, thanks to the lady. (Remember, what follows is privileged information! and you're getting it for free, grrr!. OK, maybe the silly internet charge - that doesn't count)

Oh I just came to know, it was the international women's day yesterday, all the more reason. [Official] This post dedicated to Shubha, my rep for all things woman :)[/Official]

I FEAR

• Death
  Death represents not only loss or pain or sorrow to the next of kin, I fear death for much more. A dying man takes with him all his unfulfilled quests, dreams, desires, thirsts, longings. Talk about unfinished business. Its a great leveller, but I fear it nevertheless.
• Loneliness
  I have been a total introvert. I used to be alone most of the time. Lately, however, that has not been the case. I am around with a lotsa people all the time. So much so, I take time out to be with myself for a change. But too much loneliness gives me the creeps. I want to be a part of a sea of humanity. Maybe that's why I love the discotheque.
• Small talk
  Not my idea of a perfect way to pass the time. I can discuss business with anyone and everyone. Without business, I dont talk. I keep shut. Zipped up, so to say. Very poor at making pointless conversations. Especially on the face. Very especially with a girl.

I LAUGH WITH

• Myself
  Never fail to amaze myself. Whether its searching for the cycle keys when I have them between my teeth, or fretting over an assignment that I have already submitted, I have made sure that I kept laughing all the way to this day.
• Pratyush
  No need to explain. We are almost brothers. More. Pulls out a smile from me in everything he does.
• KJ
  My sis. My chhoti behen from the time she was born to the time she started talking. Since then, I have been considered the youngest one in the family.

I LOVE

• You know who
  If you know me, you already know who's the numero uno on this list.
• Myself
  Never before since the time of Narcissus has anyone loved himself more.
• A sleepy february afternoon ... and it starts raining in campus.
• Myself again
  Goes on to prove point no. 2 :)

I HATE

• To see myself spiralling down into nothingness, for nothing at all.
• People who lie to themselves.
• Waking up from sleep, especially if I am dreaming. :)

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

• Women
  Seems nobody gets round to that!
  
• What's this whole hullabaloo about being in love. Its just a state. Like being drunk, for example.
• Why people complicate their lives so much. Its all very simple if you just look at the situation from a little higher perspective.
  

ON MY DESK YOU'LL FIND

• Keys
  Lotsa keys. I am a lock and key person. I just feel safe around them.
  
• Paper
  Rough paper, roughed up paper, blanks, printed, scribbled upon, sweated upon etc.
  
• Empty ciggy boxes, from a long time back.
  

THINGS I AM DOING RIGHT NOW

• Listening to Ghulam Ali
  "Maine lakhon ke bol sahe..."
• Contemplating dropping out of college, sans an engineering degree.
• Writing this post, duuuuh!
  

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

• Raise a child with a woman I am totally and madly in love with (a lots of children, actually)
  
• Go on a world tour with a camera
• Jump off a cliff, just for kicks!
  
• Introduce a new world order, one without boundaries, without war, suffering. In short, Utopia. But yes, I can dream of it, you can dream of it. Why not, then?
  

THINGS I CAN DO

• Be very confused about everything
• Sleep endlessly for a whole day
• Read, Write and Count

THINGS I CAN NEVER DO

• Speak to a gathering without getting the blues.
• Look at a girl in the eye for more than 8 seconds.
• Become Jeff Murdoch, although as much as I would want to! Sigh! :(
  

THINGS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO

• The small voice in your head. Listen to it everytime.
• Your Parents.
• Ghulam Ali
• Simon n Garfunkel
  

THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER LISTEN TO

• Strangers
• Yourself when you are drunk/high. Especially if one of your aims in life is to jump off a cliff, just for kicks :)
  
• Am I allowed to say, Heemays Resammaiyya ? [figure that out :)]
  

WOULD LIKE TO LEARN

• A lot of languages
• Ball room dancing. The one with the 3 piece suits and the white gowns. That one.
  
• Actually, if there is anything out there that is there to be learnt, I'd like to learn it.
  

FOODS I EAT

• Sweets.
  Actually, I believe, sugar is a very good solvent for bad taste. Anything sweet, and I am up for it. Laddoos are just the top ones on the list.
  
• Anything well prepared and well served.
• Anything that my Mom makes (for the love of it), my Sister prepares (for the fear of her) and whatever my wife will prepare sometime in the future (for the sheer romance of it all)
• For Thought.
  

BEVERAGES I DRINK

• Water
• Tea + Coffee
• Milk
• Blood, if that counts, eh heh heh!
  

TV SHOWS/BOOKS I WATCHED/READ AS A KID

• I was fed on TeeVee and Books. Cannot list 'em down like this.
• Was crazy about Comics till a time, after which Children's Pop Science books took over. Not too much into Novels and stuff. Have read random picks from Daddy's collection.
• All DD shows of mid-90s. Lately, Sony and Star Plus. "Surabhi" (Sunday nights on DD1) was a good one.
• Watched Cartoons till very late. Would still be watching T&J, Dexter's Lab, Popeye et al had it not been a strange discord with the television set that I have been experiencing lately.
  

I WOULD LOVE TO TAG

• You?

So, this post draws to its end. I'd like to invite comments + additions which I would happily incorporate to "things about myself" in this post.

'til then.

errm ... tagged [!] / [:)] / [:?]

[Spoiler : Long post, written in a mood of vengeance, and a pinch of I.M. (don't ask me what that means...its close to B.S, a little on the deranged side though)

So, I was "tagged" here by Shubha, one lovely lady I know from school. To make it more interesting, she realised that I hadn't taken notice of the whole "saumya-jain-has-been-tagged" thing because I had not seen the aforementioned post on her blog, coz I hadn't checked her blog for a long long time, and that's coz I had been kinda stuck up somewhere important (saving that for later). So she had to do that extra effort and reminded me on a chat that, well, I had been tagged.

There I was, chatting to her about how sick my life was, how I was planning to change it all, how the people in my life were goofing up with themselves, how I was falling apart for a silly thing (saving ALL that for later as well) when I get bombed by her TAG. And I do the silly thing ... I ask her what it means.

Now Shubha told me a bit about it, and I could figure it out, going through her "tagged!" post. But then, looking back, I kindof find it insulting to me to have asked that question. Am I not supposed to know? Well I did not, but I could have made out, had I read Shubha's post. She linked me to the post 'coz after that I was supposed to know what getting tagged means. But I didn't, I just felt comfortable knowing at the back of my mind that yes, I had been tagged and that was that.

We live in a fast-food world. We take things as we are told them. We don't explore, we don't think by ourselves. [ideas courtesy "The Weatherman", "Thank you for Smoking"] Wanna see an example? I linked to her post in the beginning of this post, hoping that by the time you read T.H.I.S. you would have gone through that and thus know what being tagged means. Well...Do you?

:)

First read her post, then you can go on to mine. Its up there.

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ...

This is the song that came as the title song of the TV series "Coupling". As I just found out the original of this song was sung by Doris Day and here goes the lyrics.

This is really exquisite :)

you won't admit you love me
and so how am i ever to know
you always tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps

a million times i've asked you
and then
i ask you over
again
you only answer
perhaps perhaps perhaps

if you can't make your mind up
we'll never get started
and i don't wanna wind up
being parted
broken-hearted

so if you really love me
say yes
but if you don't dear
confess
and please don't tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps

perhaps perhaps perhaps

if you can't make your mind up
we'll never get started
and i don't wanna wind up
being parted
broken-hearted

so if you really love me
say yes
but if you don't dear
confess
and please don't tell me
perhaps perhaps perhaps
perhaps perhaps perhaps
perhaps perhaps perhaps

:|
perhaps...